i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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