I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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