3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Randomize
