This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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