I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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