I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
