found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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