haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
