just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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