He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
