I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
