Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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