apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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