People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
