I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
