i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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