it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
