oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
