Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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