i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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