As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
