Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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