she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
