After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
