i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
