I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
