Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
What drink are we having for lunch?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
im on a boat
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