There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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