She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
