i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
