If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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