Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
