there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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