here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My vagina just clenched in fear
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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