Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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