been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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