I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
this will be a night to untag.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Randomize
