____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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