i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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