that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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