I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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