dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
