My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
