just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
