i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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