She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
