its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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