working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
