It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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