Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
