i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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