I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
