well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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