oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
