just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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