Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
