mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
