I'm going to rape someone's good day.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
