Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
