She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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