This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
